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Damn him.
So just think about it, Zane said. He clapped Eli on the shoulder, same as he always
would have. Friends and nothing more. Well, if you didn't count the quick rub of his thumb in a
less than platonic way. Until then, I'll be here. His grin emerged, impish and playful, making
Eli feel better about himself.
Eli covered Zane's hand with his own, roughly, fast, but enough. He didn't see this chan-
ging anytime soon. Or could he? He didn't know. Seemed like confusion was fast becoming
the status quo. I'm not going anywhere either, he said, not sure if he meant it as a warning
of how things would always be or a promise of how they could alter. He couldn't change who
he was.
Or could he? Hadn't he already?
Dr. Novia? Oh God, there you are. An intern, spattered with the effluvia one inevitably
got spattered with working the ER, clattered down the hall in a beeline toward them, her eyes
too wide and the classic new-kid panic etching white lines on her face. There's a situation
Calm down. Breathe. I'm on it. Zane took her by the shoulder to steady her. Right be-
hind you. Okay?
Eli had noticed before how Zane was hands-on with everyone. The reminder at this
present time helped and allowed him to give Zane a gentle push, just like he would
have before. I think that's your cue.
Duty calls, Zane agreed. He hesitated only long enough to give Eli a look that felt oddly
just like a kiss, and a grin. It's funny, you know?
What is?
Zane shrugged. Things keep slipping out of my hands. Never mind. Rain check for now.
We'll get back to this later. Deal?
Eli couldn't say no to him. Deal.
The kiss in Zane's gaze grew hotter, almost making Eli blush. I'm counting on it.
Zane made good his escape, his easy lope keeping pace with the frantic intern. Eli stayed
put and watched him go. He propped his elbow on the counter, scrubbed his hand over his
face, and shook his head. If he didn't want this so much, he'd reconsider. What was done,
was done. And he didn't regret it.
He didn't have a clue how to handle it, but he guessed that was part of the journey.
Eli looped his stethoscope around his neck, secured his coffee, and started walking. He'd
come in early as per his usual when he had a lot on his mind. Time still before he started his
rounds, time he'd planned on using in the hospital library. A doctor, especially someone
barely newer to the field than that poor intern, couldn't research enough if he wanted to keep
up with the pack.
Thing was, at this juncture Eli had the feeling there were other things he needed to con-
centrate on more. Like last night.
Eli wanted to stop, close his eyes, and remember. He didn't, though that didn't stop his
memories from playing themselves out in Technicolor flashes deep in his head. Who knew it
could be that good? Holding a cock wasn't what he'd ever figured would flip his switch. Ham-
mer on his switch.
Normally, coming before the game had even started would put a damper on things. No
pun intended. This time Eli couldn't say he was too sorry. Any further and hell. Who knew
how bad it could have been?
Handjobs, those might not be too hard to figure out. Blowjobs? Christ. Eli didn't have a
fucking clue except for vague notions about not using teeth.
But how did you manage not to do that? Teeth were there, right next to a man's lips, and
from what he'd gauged, Zane wasn't exactly small. Eli doubted he could fit that into his mouth,
period and whoa, that thought made Eli stumble half a step.
Give a blowjob? This was never going to stop being bizarre. Maybe even more so be-
cause, despite the rush of alarm, the rush of desire was equally strong.
Eli waited for the momentary wave of shock to pass before he walked on, reasonably
proud of how he wasn't letting any of this maelstrom show on the surface. He hoped.
What he could use right now, really use, was someone's advice, and wasn't that a hell of a
kicker? Eli considered reading up on it. He'd gotten damn good at cracking the books in re-
cent years. Somehow, though, that didn't seem quite right. He knew from experience that he
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